Tuesday 30 June 2009

Breaking down the 2009 NHL Entry Draft – by name

The 2009 National Hockey League Entry Draft was conducted from Montreal, Canada June 26-28 and for many young men childhood dreams are closer to being realised now as property of the 30 NHL franchises. If talent and potential are the main measures by which we judge the future stars of the NHL – then the importance of a great hockey name should not be far behind. Here is a detailed look at the names you should be keeping an eye on in the seasons to come, with talent and potential taking a backseat to the mockability of their name. Beware: Irreverent and appalling comedic attempts ahead. First Round 2. Victor Hedman, D, Lightning – We’re all hoping he scores his first NHL goal with a diving header. 6. Oliver Ekman-Larsson, D, Coyotes & 10. Magnus Paajarvi-Svennson, F, Oilers – After making their picks both Phoenix and Edmonton began lobbying the NHL to increase the size of jerseys across the shoulders, or failing they will have to invests in binoculars for every seat at their arenas just so people can identify these two youngsters. 12. Calvin de Haan, D, Islanders – A Calf in the hand is worth two in the bush… 27. Philippe Paradis, F, Hurricanes – This kid just gave Carolina a one way ticket to paradise… Second Round 33. Ryan O’Reilly, F, Avalanche – When told that the Avalanche had mispronounced his name when making their selection his response was ‘Oh Really?’ 43. William Wrenn, F, Sharks – A little birdie tells me this kid is going to be good. 44. Drew Shore, F, Panthers – Florida drew up a strategy to make sure they got this kid. 52. Richard Panik, F, Lightning –Tampa Bay lost their nerve here… 59. Brandon Pirri, F, Blackhawks – I hear this kid goes great with chicken. 60. Tomas Tatar, F, Red Wings – Detroit like their prospects raw. 61. Philip Samuelsson, D, Penguins – Kinda disappointing we’re not literally getting Ulf the Second here... Philip is a nice name sure but if this kid makes the Pens you'd like to think he'll be referred to as little Ulf or Ulf Junior instead of plain old Philip. Third Round 64. Tyson Barrie, D, Avalanche – Colorado have drafted on potential here… inheritance that is. 69. Reilly Smith, F, Stars – Dallas really wanted Reilly, really. 72. Alexander Urbom, D, Devils – Changed his name from Alexander Urbutt a few years back and finally got drafted. 76. Igor Bobkov, G, Ducks – Sounds more like a fancy dessert rather than a goaltender. 77. Matthew Hackett, G, Wild – His uncle Jeff could, but can Matthew? 81. Adam Morrison, G, Flyers – Turns out winning a NBA Championship super glued to the bench couldn't keep him away from his true love – hockey. 86. Ryan Button, D, Bruins – In his pre-draft interview with Boston, Ryan must've pushed all the right buttons. Fourth Round 112. Lane Macdermid, F, Bruins – The Emperor had a son after all… watch out Luke Skywalker! 113. Jeremy Price, D, Canucks – It’s too easy but… the Price was Right for Vancouver! 115. Patrick Wey, D, Capitals – Washington found a way to get young Patrick on the books. Fifth Round 133. Olivier Roy, G, Oilers – Never heard of a goaltending enforcer but the Oilers are happy to scrape the bottom of the barrel for one with this heritage... wait you mean this isn't the pugilist son of Roy? Sixth Round 158. Jerry D’Amigo, F, Maple Leafs – So which one is he most like? Lucky Day? Ned Nederlander? or my favourite Dusty Bottoms? 164. Connor Knapp, G, Sabres – 29 other teams must've been asleep on the job to let Connor slip this far down the draft board. 166. Scott Valentine, D, Ducks – Anaheim fell in love with this kid around February 14th. 167. Anton Blomqvist, D, Blue Jackets – Columbus GM Scott Howson must be a huge Scrabble fan because Blomqvist is a triple word score sensation. 172. Eric Wellwood, F, Flyers – Well would you pick anyone else? Seventh Round 183. Kirill Gotovets, D, Lightning – First things first for young Kirill, before he joins the Lighting he has to take his dog somewhere. 193. Anthony Hamburg, F, Wild – Hey Minnesota do you want Fries with that? 200. Mihail Pashnin, D, Rangers – The kid may not have any talent but he's got passion. 202. Maxwell Tardy, F, Blues – It makes sense that Maxwell had to wait this long for someone to get their act together and draft him. 206. Ben Sexton, F, Bruins – The sexiest 206th overall pick you’ll ever see. 211. Petteri Simila, G, Canadiens - Didn't Montreal make a similar pick last year? If you made it all the way through that - congratulations you truly deserve a medal - or a start in the Tour de France with that kind of staying power. For the record the First Overall Pick was John Tavares who went to the New York Islanders but his name was just a little hard to take the mickey out of and disappointingly didn't make the list. Having said that - he does have a good sounding 'hockey' name, and remember as you've read above - the name means everything.